Changes!

Making-Small-Changes-for-Big-ChangeSo, as I said in my previous entry, great shifts have taken place in my life spiritually speaking… Where to start?

To be honest, when I started cleaning up this blog yesterday, I had no intention of pursuing it, I’ve had in mind the creation of a real bilingual devotional blog for a long time and I just wanted to use this blog which no one had visited in years to try my hand at it.
But what you know, in just a few hours I’ve had visitors from various corners of the world and several new subscriptions and as one of the questions that had been holding me back was to know whether or not  I’d have enough “material” to fill up a full blog, well after some consideration , I’ve decided to keep using this one and simply continue on with my modifications by simply creating new categories.

At the time I created this place, I had never “heard” Isis nor any other God or Goddess and Isis was the only One I worshipped. I was very dedicated in my devotions and though I hadn’t been initiated by anyone or wasn’t occupying any public function, I did feel as Her priestess in my heart.

As time (and financial troubles) went by however, I found myself having less time for spiritual practice. I asked Her guidance through prayers and divination several times, and all the signs always pointed towards the same direction: sell your apartment, move out from the city towards the countryside, act fast for the time is now.
I’ll spare you the details of the process but as I wrote yesterday I’ve changed job locations twice and house three times before finally being where I am now and it was lucky that I chose to take that leap of faith and followed Her advice when I did for it t would only have been worse had we waited more…

During these three years, I faced many challenging times and over a period of a few months, two other Goddesses came to my attention: the Celtic Brighid (Who isn’t really present anymore but I still consider Her as part of my pantheon) then the Roman Goddess Diana. Each in their own way came at times where I needed a serious boost of hope to stay strong and keep me going.

Over the next following two years, my personal pantheon expanded more than I could’ve ever imagined: it is now comprised of almost twenty Gods and Goddesses! Nearly a dozen of Them are from the Greek pantheon, and aside from Brighid and Diana, all the Others are Egyptian. The majority are Goddesses but there are also Gods who play a significant part in my spiritual path now, so it’s more balanced.

Yet maybe the biggest change of them all was that I started practising meditation anytime I found myself alone and with a little time ahead of me. I’m still clearly not an expert. Sometimes it seems to take me ages to finally “enter” the meditative state,  (and I sometimes go weeks without freeing the time to meditate 😦 ) and there are still times where I don’t make it. Too many things in my head or too much exhaustion and as I try to relax, I gradually drift into slumber! (it also happens sometimes during meditation if it lasts a bit too long or I’m too tired to stay focused on the moment…).

But what meditation changed was that it gave me a “portal” to go and meet with my Goddesses and Gods! To be able to “see” that I was in Their presence and to talk to Them and get a direct answer. As a secundary effect, it also opened “a Godphone line”! Well, it’s not always working and when it is, I still can’t help but regularly question my sanity as well as the validity of the messages that I get (so when I can, I then go in meditation to see if I can get a confirmation of what I’ve heard !), but still…
What an amazing change! I’m still not very sensitive nor responsive to energies (except when they’re really strong, during an important ritual for instance and there I’ll feel some of it), I still have lots of problems visualising (even in meditation, my visual focus is quite limited and pretty much everything around is a blur) and getting into meditative states… But I can somehow talk to my Deities more easily than before and this has helped me strengthen the bonds that I share with several of Them. (Not everyOne of Them seems entitled to the Godphone line by the way, I guess my “number” is on a restricted list! lol)

And I’m trying to take on some spiritual “responsibilities”, but more on this in a next post!

Have a great day, wherever you are!

Natacha BoginskY, July 26th, 2016.

p.s: I had just finished typing this post when I heard of the tragic events that took place this morning in Saint Etienne du Rouvray.
It would be too easy to let the news turn this blog into a reservoir filled with bitterness and sadness and anger, but I’m not gonna let it happen. I don’t want to. So I’m not gonna go on about it but my thoughts go first to the victims and anyone close – even remotely – to them.
May we all find peace again, within as well as without.

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About Natacha BoginskY

I'm a French solitary practising pagan, for whom the term "headblind" quite fits. For my living, I teach English as a foreign language in a Junior High School. / Je suis une païenne pratiquant en solo, à qui le terme "headblind" (créé pour désigner des personnes n'ayant pas d'abilité ou de grande sensibilité psychique) correspond plutôt bien. Côté travail, je suis prof d'anglais dans un collège.
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